They never go out drinking anymore
by superninjagurl
Summary: Continuation of It only happens when they are drunk and Kurt will meet someone one day / They never go out drinking anymore. Kurt is busy with his studies, with work, with Blaine. There is no time for Puck.


**A/N: **A continuation of _It only happens when they are drunk _and _Kurt will meet someone one day. _

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**THEY NEVER GO OUT DRINKING ANYMORE**

They never go out drinking anymore. Kurt is busy with his studies, with work, with Blaine. There is no time for Puck, barely time for Finn even, and that is why he is so surprised when he sees Kurt's name flashing on his cellphone's monitor a quiet Sunday night. He wants to meet up, all the guys again, there is big news and Puck knows that he should worry, but the sound of Kurt's voice makes him forget everything else.

It is their usual bar, or what used to be their usual place and when Kurt steps through the door, there are tired lines around his eyes that were not there before, but he looks happy. He smiles, wide and bright, when he catches sight of them and when he flings himself around Puck's neck, he hears him giggle into his ear. Puck forces his arms to let go of him.

The small talk flows easily between them all. Kurt asks questions, eyes glowing with curiosity and something else, something like excitement and Puck knows that there is something he is dying to tell them. Finn is the one breaking it all.

"Kurt, don't leave us hanging. What is the big news?

Kurt bites his lip to keep his smile in check and he shifts slightly in his seat, eyeing them all carefully.

"Well… two days ago, Blaine, he… He proposed. And I said yes."

There is a moment of stunned silence. A couple of brief seconds in which the information registers and then everything explodes. Finn is on his feet in no time, his arms around Kurt and when he hugs him, Kurt's feet lift from the floor. Sam and Mike are both roaring, clapping and grinning, attracting the attention of the entire bar.

Puck can not breathe. He knew that it would happen, it was inevitable, but that does not mean that it is in any way easy. He gets out of his seat and he sets his sight on the door, needing the air, needing to breathe, to get away.

The October night air is freezing, it hurts his skin, his lungs, his head and his heart and he thinks, for a second, that he might die, that this is the end. In a way it is.

He feels him before he sees him. He feels his presence, hovering uncertainly half a step behind him and he knows that it is time. Time to say something.

"I can't be your friend anymore," Puck says and it sounds final, even to his own mind, his mind which screams wildly in protest.

And it is not what he wants to say, but he thinks it is what he needs.

"Why?" Kurt asks, voice weak and tight and Puck wonders how he could be that oblivious. _Stupid, _even.

He feels angry, suddenly, his insides burning with a fiery red _rage. _How can Kurt _not _know? How can he stand there, looking clueless and vulnerable and fucking _hurt, _when he is the one getting his perfect happily ever after?

"Why do you fucking think?" he bursts and Kurt flinches, arms drawing up around him, shoulders tensing.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Kurt demands, big eyes and trembling voice.

"Don't you get it? You seriously don't get it?"

"Get what-"

"I want to be someone!" Puck exclaims, throwing out his arms in frustration. "_Your _someone. I want the dates, the fights, the house, the kids, the dog and, and even the fucking Volvo! I want to be yours, don't you get it?"

His chest is heaving, aching, and it burns behind his eyelids. His throat feels thick, he can barely swallow and his cheeks are red from his outburst.

Kurt has never looked so small before. His eyes are shining with tears and Puck almost feels bad, almost asks for forgiveness.

"I…" Kurt begins, hesitating. "I thought it was just… harmless drunken fun, I-"

"For you, maybe," Puck scoffs, because he is still mad.

"You, you should have _said _something, I-"

"Say what? Hey Kurt, I think I love you, want to spend the rest of your life in Loserville with me? Who are you trying to fool? You'd never go for me. I'm a Lima Loser, always has been, always will be. It was just a matter of time before Prince Charming would come around and sweep you off your feet-"

"Oh, _shut up!" _Kurt bellows and he has grown tall again, a hand on his hip and the other jabbing a pointy finger into Puck's chest. "Don't you dare talk about yourself like that, like, like you don't matter-"

"I don't-"

"I said, _shut the fuck up, _Puckerman!" and it is enough to stun Puck into silence.

Kurt's cheeks are a blossoming pink, his eyes stern and hard and Puck can feel his anger dissipate as Kurt's just grows. He suspects that the jabbing finger might leave a bruise.

"Who gave _you _permission to decide who _I _want? Who allowed you to decide who my 'Prince Charming' might be? Who… who are you to belittle yourself, to convince yourself that I somehow share your absolutely absurd ideas of your own worth?"

Puck can not answer any of Kurt's questions, of course not. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Kurt glares at him, brilliant and magnificent and passionate, passionate about _him_ and he blinks back ashamed tears.

"You… You're _not _a Lima Loser," Kurt tells him, his voice softer now. "You hear me?"

His palm flattens against Puck's chest, pushes up to rest behind his neck. Puck averts his eyes, looks down at their shoes as he nods in confirmation.

"You're amazing," Kurt continues in a gentle whisper and Puck almost believes him.

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**A/N2: **Thank you very much for reading! All reviews are welcome :)


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